God, I hate applying for jobs ! (The only thing worst than having one.) I have to find work for the summer, until I go back to my MA. And I just suck at answering the idiotic questions that some newly grad from a business managment BA has designed to know if I'll be the perfect slave. -"What motivates you to come work as a phone representative for our bank ?" -"Well, uh, my deep passion for phones and banks ?..." (The salary, you idiot !!!) Anyway. Here's a funny document that I can relate to. It's a McDonald's application form that some French guy filled. I translated it for a friend and thought I'd share it with you. I sympathise so much with him, and take great comfort in knowing that he got the job. (Although at McDonald's...) It makes me hope I'll eventually hit an interviewer with some brains. -------------------------------------------------- 1. NAME Hervé Janqueur 2. AGE 28 3. DESIRED POSITION Horizontal, as much as possible. More seriously, anything. If I really had a choice, I wouldn't be here. 4. WHAT SALARY WOULD YOU LIKE 800,000 francs/year, plus shares in the company (payable in advance). If that's not possible, make an offer and we will negociate. 5. EDUCATION Yes. 6. LAST POSITION OCCUPIED Target of choice for a sadistic manager. 7. SALARY AT YOUR LAST JOB Much less than my actual worth. 8. ACHIEVEMENTS (IN THAT JOB) An incredible collection of stolen pens, displayed at the moment in my appartment. 9. REASON FOR LEAVING See question 6. 10. AVAILABILITY Anytime. 11. DESIRED SCHEDULE From 1pm to 3pm, monday, tuesday and thursday. 12. DO YOU HAVE PARTICULAR DISPOSITIONS Yes, it's been pointed out to me. But they are better explained in a more intimate environment than a fast-food restaurant. 13. CAN WE CONTACT YOUR PRESENT EMPLOYER If I had one, I wouldn't be here. 14. DOES YOUR PHYSICAL STATE FORBID YOU TO CARRY WEIGHTS OF MORE THAN 20 KG It depends : 20 kg of what ? 15. DO YOU HAVE A CAR Yes, but the question is wrongly formulated. You should ask : "Do you have a car that can run ?". The answer would certainly be different then. 16. HAVE YOU EVER WON A CONTEST OR OBTAINED AN AWARD No award, but I won at the lottery twice. 17. DO YOU SMOKE Only when I'm being kissed 18. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING 5 YEARS FROM NOW Living in the Bahamas with a rich top-model who adores me. Actually, I'd like to be doing that right now, if you happen to know a solution. 19. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT ALL THE INFORMATION ABOVE IS CORRECT No, but I challenge you to prove otherwise. 20. WHAT IS YOUR MAIN MOTIVATION FOR WORKING HERE 1) The love of just causes, humaneness, and a deep desire to help others eating. Or 2) Indebtment.