Expert Cow

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by damnyank, Oct 23, 2002.

  1. damnyank

    damnyank I WILL NOT FORGET 911

    Messages:
    2,359
    Location:
    Petal, Mississippi
    A city man was tooling down a country road when his car sputtered to a complete stop near a field filled with cows. The driver, getting out to see what was the matter, noticed one of the cows looking at him.

    "I believe it's your radiator," said the cow.

    The man nearly jumped right out of his city slicker britches! He
    ran to the nearest farmhouse and knocked on the door.

    "A cow just gave me advice about my car!" he shouted, waving his arms franticly back toward the field.

    The farmer nonchalantly leaned out beyond the door frame to
    glance down the field. "The cow with two big black spots on it?"
    the farmer asked slowly.

    "Yes! Yes! That's the one!" the excited man replied.

    "Oh. Well, that's Henyman," the farmer said, turning back to the
    man. "Don't pay any attention to him. He doesn't know a darn
    thing about cars."
    :D :D :D
     
  2. lol. damn this is the really good one :)
     
  3. Kirrie2001

    Kirrie2001 Guest

    LOL. :D

    An old one, but still a good one Damnyank.

    Keep em coming. ;)
     
  4. damnyank

    damnyank I WILL NOT FORGET 911

    Messages:
    2,359
    Location:
    Petal, Mississippi
    Come on guys - no one caught the cow's name?

    That's the only reason I posted the joke - so I could change the name and mess with our resident cow fetish dude!

    :D
     
  5. oh i did catch it, that's why i said it's damn funny
     
  6. Kirrie2001

    Kirrie2001 Guest

    So did I damnyank. :D :D :D
     
  7. damnyank

    damnyank I WILL NOT FORGET 911

    Messages:
    2,359
    Location:
    Petal, Mississippi
    Sorry - I guess I just expected Henyman to go udderly ballistic on me and everyone else to comment about "his joke":D

    < Don't worry Henyman - I can still duck your best cyberpunch!>
     
  8. and what are you going to do damnyak if henyman will try his best superpunch/superkick/super moooo combo? :p
     
  9. damnyank

    damnyank I WILL NOT FORGET 911

    Messages:
    2,359
    Location:
    Petal, Mississippi
    How about if I pick up a cow chip and throw it, hitting him in the left leg (the one he is standing on) - which will knock him off balance, making him fall and miss me with both the kick and the punch and then I would quickly jump on him, pick up the cow chip again and use it to stiffle his super moooooooo!:confused:

    <dy - so you really think that'll work?>
     
  10. u might get lucky, but by my estimation u got only 37.91% chance of successfuly doing that. with the margin of 5.09%. and that not concidering that henyman might have heny friends :D
     
  11. funky dredd

    funky dredd Moderator

    Messages:
    2,346
    Location:
    Florida
    That was pretty good. Where is Henyman? He hasn't said a word..
     
  12. lol, probably on the way to florida by now :p .
     
  13. funky dredd

    funky dredd Moderator

    Messages:
    2,346
    Location:
    Florida
  14. smart move actually, doesnt waste time for internet talk, but gets to the point quickly. i should probably watch out too for spoiling his plans :p
     
  15. Perris Calderon

    Perris Calderon Moderator Staff Member Political User

    Messages:
    12,332
    Location:
    new york
    so then, while damnyank was tooling around, and he went to visit where henyman boards, which was the local insane asylum.

    when damnyank went to his car, a tire ws missing, lugs and all.

    this is now a dilemna, as damn had a spare, but no lugs.

    so henyman says, why don't you just take a lug off of each wheel, and your'e set.

    so damn scratches his head, and says, you know henyman, that's very keen...I can't figure out why you're in this insan asylum,

    and henyman says;

    "I might be crazy, butI'm sure not stupid.


    well
     
  16. Smokie

    Smokie A Proud Australian

    Messages:
    437
    Location:
    Townsville, Qld, Australia
    Trust an old fella like Damnyank to call a cow a HIM. Cows are not hims, they are HERS. :D

    Henyman is probably still trying to work the joke out, but at least he knows that cows are a her...Don't know if he knows anything about cars though???
     
  17. damnyank

    damnyank I WILL NOT FORGET 911

    Messages:
    2,359
    Location:
    Petal, Mississippi
    Hey Smokie - no bull!

    Okay - I am a city boy and don't even know which end of a cow to milk - I don't think you milk bulls - but - that dealer sure had a good idea about the lug nuts - of course I don't know why he gave the credit to Henyman - everyone knows he (Henyman) is nuts - heh heh - lug nuts??????:D :D
     
  18. Perris Calderon

    Perris Calderon Moderator Staff Member Political User

    Messages:
    12,332
    Location:
    new york
    jst joinin in the fun.

    sheesh, I was hoping someone would immortalize me in a joke, but noooo

    [​IMG]
     
  19. Smokie

    Smokie A Proud Australian

    Messages:
    437
    Location:
    Townsville, Qld, Australia
    dealer was talking to Damnyank.

    "So, dealer, how's it going with the ladies?"

    "Women, to me, are nothing but sex objects."

    "Really?"

    "Yep," dealer shook his head, "Whenever I mention sex, they object."
     
  20. Smokie

    Smokie A Proud Australian

    Messages:
    437
    Location:
    Townsville, Qld, Australia
    How would you like to tell people you live in one of these places?

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