Drunk!!

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by GraLk, May 23, 2002.

  1. GraLk

    GraLk Guest

    Signs That You're Too Drunk!

    24. You lose arguments with objects.

    23. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

    22. Your Job is interfering with your drinking.

    21. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

    20. Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.

    19. You sincerely believe alcohol to be the 5th food group.

    18. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? - I think not!

    17. Two hands and just one mouth... - now that's a drinking problem!

    16. You can focus better with one eye closed.

    15. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

    14. Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.

    13. You fall off the floor...

    12. Hey, five beers has just as many calories as a burger, forget dinner!

    11. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you

    10. At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."

    9.Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

    8.The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...

    7.You think Three Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, and Alcohol.

    6.Roseanne looks good.

    5.Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

    4.That pink elephant followed you home again.

    3.You're as jober as a sudge.

    2.You wake up screaming "TORO TORO TORO!" in the middle of the night.

    and last but not least...

    1.Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops!

    :D :D :D 'hic'
     
  2. Electronic Punk

    Electronic Punk Administrator Staff Member Political User Folding Team

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    24. You lose arguments with objects.

    I once won an argument with my cat, but I wasn't drunk.
     
  3. GraLk

    GraLk Guest

    :D
     
  4. dreamliner77

    dreamliner77 The Analog Kid

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    EP-

    I lose arguments with my cat all the time.
     
  5. loppdawg69

    loppdawg69 Guest

    ever had an alcoholic tell you your "overdoing it" lol EP who is the girl on your sig?????
     
  6. Electronic Punk

    Electronic Punk Administrator Staff Member Political User Folding Team

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    Erm, I think I will save her for a rainy "name that celebrity" day ;)

    well my cat had the attitude where his answer to everything in life was meow - I simp,ly told him that it was no way to live.
     
  7. dreamliner77

    dreamliner77 The Analog Kid

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    Is it angel boris?
     
  8. Helmer

    Helmer Questions R me

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    She's an angel for sure :p
     
  9. Electronic Punk

    Electronic Punk Administrator Staff Member Political User Folding Team

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    Nope, you'll never guess it ;)
     
  10. xsivforce

    xsivforce Prodigal Son Folding Team

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    I had to stop drinking. I got tired of people stepping on my hand every time I left the bar.
     
  11. Kirrie2001

    Kirrie2001 Guest

    You and Labbatts, God, will we ever seperate them.

    Maybe if you ask Jewelzz nicely, she will wean you on to tequila!!

    :D :D :D
     
  12. gonaads

    gonaads Beware the G-Man Political User Folding Team

    Hey EP, Isn't it the girl from "The Fifth Element"?
     
  13. Zer0_[X]

    Zer0_[X] Guest

    ur referring to Milla Jovovich... hmm it kinda looks like her but not all that much
     
  14. Electronic Punk

    Electronic Punk Administrator Staff Member Political User Folding Team

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  15. Khayman

    Khayman I'm sorry Hal... Political User Folding Team

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    I have a drinking problem. Two hands, ergo two beers, but only one mouth! :D I'll have to go "Two Face" style :D
     
  16. Electronic Punk

    Electronic Punk Administrator Staff Member Political User Folding Team

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    I overcame that problem using about 4 straws.
     
  17. Khayman

    Khayman I'm sorry Hal... Political User Folding Team

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    Straws!! the mans a genius!!

    I'm going to get one of those hats which hold two beers and built in straws- the height of sophistication
     
  18. Helmer

    Helmer Questions R me

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    I'm going to get one of those hats which hold two beers and built in straws- the height of sophistication

    LOL! :D
     
  19. Dubbin1

    Dubbin1 I Like Cheese

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    Now that another problem. That means four beers because you will still have 2 hands free. Or maybe its a better solution :D



     
  20. dreamliner77

    dreamliner77 The Analog Kid

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    ANAL CHUG!!!!!!!!!!