Dead Duck

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by gonaads, Feb 26, 2004.

  1. gonaads

    gonaads Beware the G-Man Political User Folding Team

    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary hospital.

    As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope

    and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet

    shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."

    The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure.

    The duck is dead," he replied.

    "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done

    any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

    The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned

    a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

    As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his

    hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the

    duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and

    shook his head.

    The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments

    later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed

    delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head,

    meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

    The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most

    definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

    Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a

    bill, which he handed to the woman.

    The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried,

    "$150 - just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

    The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill

    would have been $20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan.

  2. falcone

    falcone WinFS Advocate :D