Darwin Award

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Grinder714, Jul 27, 2002.

  1. Grinder714

    Grinder714 Guest

    How bout a Darwin Award then....:) Guaranteed to only offend the stupid.

    As you all may or may not know...a Darwin Award commemorates those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. :D

    -Grinder


    (7 March 2002, Colorado) When Gerald was pulled over by police for erratic driving, he decided it was better to flee from the stolen car on foot, rather than face possible jail time for a parole violation. This was the first of two successive mental lapses.

    Gerald's actual thoughts are unknown,
    but *may* have been something like this: "The officers are only suspicious and alert now... I'll make them hot, sweaty, tired, and angry by leading them on a wild chase through dark alleys and fields." During the subsequent foot chase, Gerald attempted to dissuade officers from the pursuit by firing a 9mm Ruger semiautomatic handgun blindly over his shoulder. This was the second illustration of a potential mental deficiency.
    "Officers are running behind me. They have guns. I have a gun! They have eyes in the front of their heads, so they can see to aim at me. I don't have eyes in the back of my head, so I'll fire wildly behind me and see what happens!"

    Unfortunately, Gerald appears to have been one of those folks who can't chew gum and walk at the same time. Or at least he couldn't flee and fire at the same time. While discharging the weapon over his shoulder, Gerald managed to shoot himself in the head with his own gun, bringing the chase to a sudden
    conclusion.

    Four shots were fired, none by the officers, who found Gerald's pistol next to his fallen body. Gerald was transported to a local hospital where he expired the following day, thus removing a set of genes deficient in both judgment and coordination from the gene pool.
     
  2. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    lol very gd grinder, hopefullt it won't ofend anybody;) ;)
     
  3. Grinder714

    Grinder714 Guest

    Its a true story....just funny as hell.

    I'm still laughing :cool:

    Must be my sick, twisted sense of humor.:rolleyes: :p
     
  4. theone1

    theone1 Guest

    mod alert!that is offensive
     
  5. Iceman

    Iceman Moderator

    Messages:
    2,695
  6. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    it's ofensive 2 stupid people:p
     
  7. gonaads

    gonaads Beware the G-Man Political User Folding Team

    They say *shotting yourself in the foot* But Dammm, this guy took it to the next level. :p

    At least he won't have to tell that embarassing story to his grand kids.

    Oh oh! HE won't have any! :D
     
  8. Hipster Doofus

    Hipster Doofus Good grief Charlie Brown

    Messages:
    5,920
    Location:
    Melbourne Australia
    What happened? Did he run out of quarters? :D
     
  9. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    no he wen't past his best before date :p
     
  10. AyA

    AyA Guest

    he wont be missed
     
  11. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    it's all 4 the greater good
     
  12. Grinder714

    Grinder714 Guest

    Hopefully he didn't reproduce be this incident happened. :rolleyes: :p