Computer Support

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by madmatt, Jan 16, 2006.

  1. madmatt

    madmatt Bow Down to the King Political User

    New York
    Employee "Rich Hall, Computer Assistance; may I help you?"

    Customer "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

    Employee "What sort of trouble?"

    Customer "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

    Employee "Went away?"

    Customer "They disappeared."

    Employee "Hmmm... So what does your screen look like now?"

    Customer "Nothing."

    Employee "Nothing?"

    Customer "It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

    Employee "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

    Customer "How do I tell?"

    Employee "Can you see the 'C: prompt on the screen?"

    Customer "What is a sea prompt?"

    Employee "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

    Customer "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

    Employee "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

    Customer "What's a monitor?"

    Employee "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

    Customer "I don't know."

    Employee "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

    Customer "Yes, I think so."

    Employee "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

    Customer "Yes, it is."

    Employee "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it or just one?"

    Customer "No."

    Employee "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

    Customer "Okay, here it is."

    Employee "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

    Customer "I can't reach."

    Employee "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

    Customer "No."

    Employee "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

    Customer "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark."

    Employee "Dark?"

    Customer "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

    Employee "Well, turn on the office light then."

    Customer "I can't."

    Employee "No? Why not?"

    Customer "Because there's a power failure."

    Employee "A power.......a power failure? Aha, okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and the packing stuff your computer came in?"

    Customer "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

    Employee "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

    Customer "Really? Is it that bad?"

    Employee "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

    Customer "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

    Employee "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
  2. Sazar

    Sazar F@H - Is it in you? Staff Member Political User Folding Team

    Between Austin and Tampa
    An oldie but a goldie.
  3. Cosmin

    Cosmin Graphic Designer

  4. SPeedY_B

    SPeedY_B I may actually be insane.

    Midlands, England
    Classic :)
  5. Steevo

    Steevo Spammer representing. Political User Folding Team

    I got busted at another forum for posting that joke a couple years back.

    Good joke, great forum, better people. Long live OSNN!!!
  6. NetRyder

    NetRyder Tech Junkie Folding Team

    New York City
    Good one! :D
  7. madmatt

    madmatt Bow Down to the King Political User

    New York
    Nobody dares send me (the network administrator) jokes. But when jokes like this come through they make sure I get it. It made my day.

    Too bad I am still stuck at the office. 12 hours and counting...
  8. Son Goku

    Son Goku No lover of dogma

    I heard a variant of this one, but from more recent times:

    Conversation ends:

    support: Is you're computer plugged in?

    caller: I don't know.

    support: Can you look behind your computer and tell me if it's plugged in?

    caller: No, my room is too dark.

    support: Can you turn on a light and see if it's plugged in?

    caller: No you idiot. We're having a power outage. Lights don't work without electricity.

    Somehow, that computers need power too didn't seem to cross the caller's mind :laugh:

    support: Here's what you can do. You're obviously too stupid to use that computer. Pack it back up in it's box, and ship it back for a refund.

    Unfortunately, the call was monitored, and the support person got fired for that remark. The caller in your story sounds even more clueless though :laugh: