I have moss growing: A) In my garden B) In my bathroom C) In my kitchen D) On my teeth When I open my mouth at parties, people: A) Listen B) Ease away slowly C) Stuff a live weasel down my throat I think computers are: A) Uninteresting B) Interesting C) Too damn small for the stuff I want to do I think sheep are: A) Uninteresting B) Interesting C) Annoyingly far away from where I live The Usenet Oracle is: A) A pack of weenies who think about "Lisa" way too much B) Interesting C) Not appreciative of the great answers I write; the Priesthood is out to get me The gender I desire to have sexual relations with is: A) Difficult to understand B) Impossible to understand C) Clearly from a different planet D) How should I know? I've only seen pictures Bill Gates is: A) Bill who? B) Very wealthy C) Head of Microsoft, which produces some widely used products D) The Antichrist In general, people: A) Like me B) Don't like me C) People? What people? My friends are: A) Diverse B) People I know from work or school C) Wearing the same clothing I am My dream vacation is: A) Tibet B) Europe C) California D) In a room with lots of fluorescent lights and an unlimited supply of coffee My job prospects are: A) Abysmal B) Adequate C) I'll never be out of work, you hear me? Never! D) They pay people to do this? Score 0 for each A, 1 for each B, 2 for each C, and 3 for each D. 19 or more : Yep. You're a computer geek, all right. 13 - 18 : You're a geek of some stripe or another. 7 - 12 : Probably not a geek, but watch it... 0 - 6 : If you're of the opposite sex, could you leave a note for me in the personals column? Please? Hello?