Chicken

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by striko_514, Apr 5, 2003.

  1. striko_514

    striko_514 Guest

    I don't know if has been posted before but here is:
    Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    GEORGE W. BUSH
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
    if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with
    us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

    AL GORE
    I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing
    the road represented the application of these two different functions of
    government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the
    American people.

    COLIN POWELL
    Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the
    chicken crossing the road.

    HANS BLIX
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
    allowed access to the other side of the road.

    MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)
    The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't
    even have a chicken.

    SADDAM HUSSEIN
    This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
    dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

    RALPH NADER
    The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by
    unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
    habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of
    a gas-guzzling SUV.

    PAT BUCHANAN
    To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

    RUSH LIMBAUGH
    I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a
    government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already
    forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can
    you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens
    crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars,
    I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build
    roads for chickens to cross.

    MARTHA STEWART
    No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing
    order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a
    certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    JERRY FALWELL
    Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain
    truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."
    That's what they call it-the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is
    gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
    all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
    whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

    DR. SEUSS
    Did the chicken cross the road?
    Did he cross it with a toad?
    Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
    But why it crossed, I've not been told!

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY
    To die. In the rain. Alone.

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
    I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
    having their motives called into question.

    GRANDPA
    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
    that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

    BARBARA WALTERS
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken
    tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a
    serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of
    crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON
    Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

    ARISTOTLE
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    KARL MARX
    It was an historical inevitability.

    VOLTAIRE
    I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its
    right to do it.

    RONALD REAGAN
    What chicken?

    CAPTAIN KIRK
    To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

    FOX MULDER
    You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to
    cross before you believe it?

    SIGMUND FREUD
    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
    reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES
    I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will
    lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and
    Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN
    Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
    chicken?

    BILL CLINTON
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
    Could you define chicken, please?

    COLONEL SANDERS
    I missed one?
     
  2. Jewelzz

    Jewelzz OSNN Godlike Veteran

    Messages:
    10,977
    Location:
    California
    Heh, I posted that on SP today :p
     
  3. Krux

    Krux Nissan Powered

    Messages:
    1,649
    thats pretty good :D
     
  4. gonaads

    gonaads Beware the G-Man Political User Folding Team

    Hahahaha... very nice in deed. :p
     
  5. Nick M

    Nick M Moderator

    Messages:
    3,961
    ROLF


    ERNEST HEMINGWAY
    To die. In the rain. Alone.