Board/Staff Meeting Tactics

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Friend of Bill, Oct 4, 2003.

  1. Friend of Bill

    Friend of Bill What, me worry?

    Messages:
    1,572
    > To anyone who's had to sit through any kind of staff/company
    meetings...How
    > to stay awake in meetings, seminars and conference calls. Do you
    keep
    > falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long,
    boring
    > conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that.
    > 1. Before your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare
    yourself
    > by drawing a square. 5"x5" is a good size.
    > 2. Divide the square into five rows and five columns. That will
    > give you 25 one-inch blocks.
    > 3. Randomly write one of the following words/phrases in each
    > block:
    > * synergy
    > * strategic fit
    > * core competencies
    > * best practice
    > * bottom line
    > * revisit
    > * expeditious
    > * 24/7
    > * out of the loop
    > * benchmark
    > * value-added
    > * proactive
    > * win-win
    > * think outside the box
    > * fast track
    > * result-driven
    > * empower (or empowerment)
    > * knowledge base
    > * at the end of the day
    > * touch base
    > * mindset
    > * future-state
    > * economies of scale
    > * game plan
    > * leverage
    >
    > 4. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those
    > words/phrases.
    > 5. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or
    > diagonally, stand up and shout "BULL****!"
    > Testimonials from satisfied "Bull**** Bingo" players:
    > -- "I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I
    > won." -Adam W., Atlanta
    > -- "My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."-
    > David T., Florida
    > -- "What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my
    > first win."-Dan J., New York City
    > -- "The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14
    > of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Denver
    > -- "The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULL****!'
    > for the third time in two hours."- Yours Truly
     
  2. chris

    chris Free to Fly

    Messages:
    1,109
    haha :)
     
  3. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    lol sounds dam good fun :p
     
  4. Codasmd

    Codasmd Old School XPeriencer

    Messages:
    495
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA.
    Hilarious....all of it.
     
  5. Krux

    Krux Nissan Powered

    Messages:
    1,649
    uhhhhhhhhhhhh.....................
     
  6. Bootsy

    Bootsy Huh?

    Messages:
    1,124
    Location:
    Miami, Fl
    thats funny as hell
     
  7. Friend of Bill

    Friend of Bill What, me worry?

    Messages:
    1,572

    Just may be the BEST board/staff meeting tactic.;)