A blond walks into the doctors office. Her index finger on one hand is destroyed, a bloody stump. The doctor says, "How did you do this?" "Well, I was going to commit suicide. I put the gun to my chest then thought, I've just paid $6000 for this boob job, I'd better not ruin them. So I put the gun in my mouth. But I thought again, I just paid $4000 to get my teeth pearly white and straight so I better not ruin them either. I put the gun to my head but realized it was going to be very loud so I stuck this finger in my other ear."