Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Kirrie2001, Oct 4, 2002.

  1. Kirrie2001

    Kirrie2001 Guest

    These are true excerpts from accident claim forms.

    It's Always the Other Guy's Fault. This is Why.

    "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

    "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."

    "The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."

    "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

    "No one was to blame for the accident, but it never would have happened if the other driver had been alert."

    Just Blame the CAR!

    "I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way."

    "The accident happened when the right door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal."

    "My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."
    When What Wasn't There Before...Now Is.

    "Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

    "I thought my window was down; but found it was up when I put my hand through it."

    "I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprung up, obscuring my vision."

    "As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident."

    Pedestrians Have the Right-of-Way? Always?

    "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car." "The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."

    "I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car."

    "I was sure the old fellow would make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."
    "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."

    You Mean This? Literally?
    "I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."

    "I was taking my canary to the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end, and there was a crash."

    "I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

    "I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

    I Sense a Pattern
    "I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the same place where it had been struck several times before."

    Oooh, That Must Hurt
    "I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull."

    "My wench slipped, losing my balance, and I hurt my back."

    Why You Need to Pay Attention to Your Driving
    "In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

    "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment."

    OH Well!!!!!!!
  2. Zooker

    Zooker OSNN Addict

    :D LMAO!!!!
  3. Grandmaster

    Grandmaster Electronica Addict Political User Folding Team

    Santa Clara, CA
    haha, nice :D
  4. Perris Calderon

    Perris Calderon Moderator Staff Member Political User

    new york
    Kirrie...I miss you so much...I wish you didn't dissappear every so's good to see you
  5. Hipster Doofus

    Hipster Doofus Good grief Charlie Brown

    Melbourne Australia
    Kirrie2001 you got some real gems in that one. I can't see, my eyes are watered up so much. :D
  6. 2z

    2z OSNN Gamer

    Ha ha ha ha

    very funny

    :p :p