A Washington, DC airport ticket agent

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by LeeJend, Apr 7, 2006.

  1. LeeJend

    LeeJend Moderator

    Fort Worth, TX
    A Washington, DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why
    our country is in trouble!

    1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so
    that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

    2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
    Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the
    passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying
    to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts," Without
    trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in
    Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa," Her response - click.

    3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a trip package
    to Florida we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
    Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to
    explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the
    state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida
    is a very thin state!"

    4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible
    to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look
    so close on the map."

    5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could
    rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he
    had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted
    to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we
    will need a car to drive between gates to save time."

    6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week She needed to know how
    it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got
    to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead
    of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.
    Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

    7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your
    physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs
    to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I
    checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said
    (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting
    her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I
    came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT),and the
    airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

    8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to
    Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be
    cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"

    9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked,
    "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he
    meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but
    none of these planes have numbers on them."

    10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
    Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I
    asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She
    said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"

    11. A Senior Senator called and had a question about the documents
    he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
    passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't.
    I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I
    double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I
    told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every
    time they have accepted my American Express!"

    12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want
    to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words.
    Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" Yes,
    what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching,
    I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport
    code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady
    retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check
    your map!" So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally
    offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
    The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal".
  2. falconguard

    falconguard Carbon based lifeform Political User Folding Team

    That could be a geography quiz answers among high school students, no wonder these stupid bastards keep getting elected. Still funny.
  3. Petros

    Petros Thief IV

    Pacific Northwest
  4. Admiral Michael

    Admiral Michael Michaelsoft Systems CEO Folding Team


    Too bad i wasn't true, may explain a few things. :)
  5. falconguard

    falconguard Carbon based lifeform Political User Folding Team