A Cats Diary

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Perris Calderon, Mar 29, 2002.

  1. Perris Calderon

    Perris Calderon Moderator Staff Member Political User

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    Cat's DiarY


    DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture...Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

    DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this On their bed.

    DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Not working according to plan.

    DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still LODGED between my teeth.

    DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their ccomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event, however, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

    DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my acctivities. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
     
  2. xsivforce

    xsivforce Prodigal Son Folding Team

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    lmao...I have had many cats. Now I know what they were up to. ;)
     
  3. Kirrie2001

    Kirrie2001 Guest

    A Cats Diary.

    Nice one dealer. ROFLMAO.
    Hope its to be continued.:D :D

    PS. Yeah, the PM board is still Kaput.:mad:
     
  4. Perris Calderon

    Perris Calderon Moderator Staff Member Political User

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    EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY


    Day number 180
    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!


    Day number 181
    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!


    Day number 182
    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
    1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
     
  5. Kirrie2001

    Kirrie2001 Guest

    OMG . and I`ve got 2 of `em.
    Gonna hide the pens and paper. :D
     
  6. Kirrie2001

    Kirrie2001 Guest

    PM problem.

    dealer. Check this out.

    Click on VBhome in the UserCP and click view all private messages then Click show messages from the beginning.

    Then delete all the old stuff.

    Hope this helps.
     
  7. Perris Calderon

    Perris Calderon Moderator Staff Member Political User

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    tried ...everything was empty, I'll try sendingt you my email, let's see if you get it
     
  8. Perris Calderon

    Perris Calderon Moderator Staff Member Political User

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    bumpage...I remember this...I love this
     
  9. Maveric169

    Maveric169 The Voices Talk to Me

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    That was totally hilarious
     
  10. Nick M

    Nick M Moderator

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    ROFL :laugh:
     
  11. funky dredd

    funky dredd Moderator

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    haha..classic!
     
  12. sean.ferguson

    sean.ferguson Moderator Folding Team

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