[Movie Review] Stealth

**ray_gillespie** · August 5th, 2005

In a dazzlingly original move, hollywood has decided to release a film about a machine with a mind of its own. Spookily enough it comes alive and goes out of control. But that's enough about Herbie/the new Herbie remake/Short Circuit.

Synopsis: Deeply ensconced in a top-secret military program, three pilots struggle to bring an artificial intelligence program under control ... before it initiates the next world war.

Unofficial Synopsis: Airwolf + The Terminator

Stealth (2005)

A little known fact about this film is that it is actually based upon an animated graphic novel* from the 80s called Jimbo. The writers created what is essentially a long episode of Jimbo, but used less skilled actors and script writers fresh out of kindergarten to give it that 'real world' edge. As far as the story goes, the three pilots mentioned in the tagline are actually three sheep:

Figure 1. Evidence of sheep.

The so called "artificial intelligence" is in reality a crazy man on a tractor:

Figure 2. A crazy man on a tractor.

If you want to save yourself a few quid, here's a plot summary of Stealth, needless to say there are *Spoilers* ahead:

The first signs that something is wrong is when a jumbo jet manages to squeeze one out on runway 3 at Heathrow Airport:

Figure 3. Flying Herbie, I mean 'Stealth', squeezes one out.

This is obviously bad news, so they just stop the movie and give everyone their money back, but not before they bring in a couple of Spice Girls for a sing-song:

Figure 4. A couple of Spice Girls.

The End.

Overall, out of 5, I'd give it the middle finger.

**sean.ferguson** · August 5th, 2005

oh my

I am actually slightly looking forward to this movie. I dont expect it to be dazzling, but i think it will be good.

**muzikool** · August 5th, 2005

I can't believe anyone is actually seeing this. What a shame that Jamie Foxx goes from Ray to a piece of crap like this. Ray, that's the most creative, and possibly the most entertaining movie review I've seen here!

5/5 OSNN Stars for the review

**Son Goku** · August 5th, 2005

I saw it opening night last week. Ironically however, I didn't end up having to pay... To make a long story short, I left in plenty of time to get there for a midnight showing, but got tied up on the Interstate and the like. I was made a bit late, and usually one has until 15 minutes after the last showtime before they close the ticket booth.

I was there within that time despite the traffic, but they closed it earlier. Anyhow, I went in when someone was comming out and inquired about their website showing a 12 am show on the schedule. The manager was like "oh we'll let you in". I was like "well if management says it's OK. Just wouldn't want to get busted for being there without a ticket after I'm told I can go in". Another (perhaps head manager) was like "oh, not a problem..." I've been there somewhat often, which is perhaps why they allowed it.

Anyhow, all in all I thought it was OK. I definitely wouldn't rate it up there with something like LotR or The Matrix. But I was entertained, unlike watching Cold Creek Manner or the like

My view could be somewhat effected by the fact I didn't pay to see it as well, however.

Looking at what ray_gillespie posted, if they stook the story to sheep and a farmer on a tractor, this is one case where I think I would definitely have not liked them sticking to the book.

**gonaads** · August 5th, 2005

Hahaha!!! Now that is what I call a review. Excellent work ray_gillespie. Most thought out and I would say probably more entertaining than the movie. And NO, I have not and will not see this movie.

**ray_gillespie** · August 6th, 2005

Hey thanks guys, I'm glad you found it entertaining. Much appreciated.

**~bk** · August 7th, 2005

Originally Posted by ray_gillespie

Overall, out of 5, I'd give it the middle finger.

Haha, that's a classic line.

**the_music_man** · August 7th, 2005

i love this review haha

**Sazar** · August 7th, 2005

Foxx filmed this before he did Ray afaik.

**Khayman** · August 8th, 2005

Saw it yesterday. Ummm it looked good, at least i thought so.

I guess i'm easy to entertain

**falconguard** · August 8th, 2005

Originally Posted by Khayman

I guess i'm easy to entertain

Or maybe just really low standards?

**zeke_mo** · August 8th, 2005

rofl

**Sazar** · August 8th, 2005

Originally Posted by Khayman

Saw it yesterday. Ummm it looked good, at least i thought so.

I guess i'm easy to entertain

It's that ring, its corrupted yo pooah l'il mind!!!

**Khayman** · August 8th, 2005

Nobody claimed it was Shakespeare, but it had a hot woman fast planes loads of explosions and cool effects. Seems to be a average popcorn no brainer to me. And there's always a place for them

delta4s · August 24th, 2005

love the review, the movie sucked

**ElementalDragon** · August 24th, 2005

i'm actually looking forward to seeing this movie sooner or later, whether in theater or rental, and i think your review made me want to see it more, just for spite. first off, i don't see how you can really call what you did a "review" of Stealth when it seemed more like a story about an old cartoon. usually review's give information about the movie being reviewed.... not more information about a cartoon you say it was based on and retweaked to be more realistic. now..... i don't know about everyone else here..... but to ME it appears that you made a review of a movie that you sat down to watch for 5 minutes, walked out, looked for something that resembled it in some way, shape, or form, and are looking to be honored for doing so. I really wish i could get the last 5 minutes of my life back wasted by reading your so-called "review", and typing this post in an effort to try to make you look like more of an idiot than a reviewer.

P.S. sorry for the rant..... but to me what i just said seems true if you look back at his "review" again.

**ray_gillespie** · August 25th, 2005

Fair enough I suppose, I just thought it would be funny, sorry you didn't find it so.

**ZeroHour** · August 25th, 2005

Its so bad it hurts
We had a good laugh at it here

**muzikool** · August 25th, 2005

Originally Posted by ElementalDragon

i'm actually looking forward to seeing this movie sooner or later, whether in theater or rental, and i think your review made me want to see it more, just for spite. first off, i don't see how you can really call what you did a "review" of Stealth when it seemed more like a story about an old cartoon. usually review's give information about the movie being reviewed.... not more information about a cartoon you say it was based on and retweaked to be more realistic. now..... i don't know about everyone else here..... but to ME it appears that you made a review of a movie that you sat down to watch for 5 minutes, walked out, looked for something that resembled it in some way, shape, or form, and are looking to be honored for doing so. I really wish i could get the last 5 minutes of my life back wasted by reading your so-called "review", and typing this post in an effort to try to make you look like more of an idiot than a reviewer.

P.S. sorry for the rant..... but to me what i just said seems true if you look back at his "review" again.

Did you make this movie yourself, because you seem to be taking it a bit personally.

It is completely obvious that this is not a true and accurate review of the actual movie. He shouldn't have to put a disclaimer on a post that is blatantly satirical just to avoid being flamed for it. Besides, everyone else in this thread enjoyed it, and I'm pretty sure he wasn't looking to be "honored."

**Khayman** · August 25th, 2005

It had Jessica Biel in a bikini WHAT MORE IS THERE!?

August 5th, 2005	Top \| #1
ray_gillespie OSNN Veteran Addict Joined: March 2002 Location: Birmingham, UK Posts: 1,692 Reputation: 1420 Power: 154	[Movie Review] Stealth In a dazzlingly original move, hollywood has decided to release a film about a machine with a mind of its own. Spookily enough it comes alive and goes out of control. But that's enough about Herbie/the new Herbie remake/Short Circuit. Synopsis: Deeply ensconced in a top-secret military program, three pilots struggle to bring an artificial intelligence program under control ... before it initiates the next world war. Unofficial Synopsis: Airwolf + The Terminator Stealth (2005) A little known fact about this film is that it is actually based upon an animated graphic novel* from the 80s called Jimbo. The writers created what is essentially a long episode of Jimbo, but used less skilled actors and script writers fresh out of kindergarten to give it that 'real world' edge. As far as the story goes, the three pilots mentioned in the tagline are actually three sheep: Figure 1. Evidence of sheep. The so called "artificial intelligence" is in reality a crazy man on a tractor: Figure 2. A crazy man on a tractor. If you want to save yourself a few quid, here's a plot summary of Stealth, needless to say there are Spoilers ahead: The first signs that something is wrong is when a jumbo jet manages to squeeze one out on runway 3 at Heathrow Airport: Figure 3. Flying Herbie, I mean 'Stealth', squeezes one out. This is obviously bad news, so they just stop the movie and give everyone their money back, but not before they bring in a couple of Spice Girls for a sing-song: Figure 4. A couple of Spice Girls. The End. Overall, out of 5, I'd give it the middle finger.

August 5th, 2005	Top \| #2
sean.ferguson OSNN Veteran Addict Joined: July 2003 Location: Fife; Scotland Posts: 1,693 Reputation: 550 Power: 130	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth oh my I am actually slightly looking forward to this movie. I dont expect it to be dazzling, but i think it will be good. Mac - 13-inch Macbook Core Duo 1.83GHz\| 1GB Ram \| 120GB Internal \| BT & AE \| OS 10.5 PC- Intel Core 2 Duo E4300 1.8GHz \| 2GB Dual Channel Ram \| 360GB Internal \| Lite-On DVDRW \| Radeon X1300XT \| Vista Home Premium 64-bit

August 5th, 2005	Top \| #3
muzikool Act your wage. Joined: December 2001 Location: Texas, USA Reputation: Yes, please. Posts: 7,626 Reputation: 2900 Power: 232	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth I can't believe anyone is actually seeing this. What a shame that Jamie Foxx goes from Ray to a piece of crap like this. Ray, that's the most creative, and possibly the most entertaining movie review I've seen here! 5/5 OSNN Stars for the review

August 5th, 2005	Top \| #4
Son Goku No lover of dogma Joined: June 2004 Location: 439 East District, Mount Paozu Posts: 1,980 Reputation: 700 Power: 123	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth I saw it opening night last week. Ironically however, I didn't end up having to pay... To make a long story short, I left in plenty of time to get there for a midnight showing, but got tied up on the Interstate and the like. I was made a bit late, and usually one has until 15 minutes after the last showtime before they close the ticket booth. I was there within that time despite the traffic, but they closed it earlier. Anyhow, I went in when someone was comming out and inquired about their website showing a 12 am show on the schedule. The manager was like "oh we'll let you in". I was like "well if management says it's OK. Just wouldn't want to get busted for being there without a ticket after I'm told I can go in". Another (perhaps head manager) was like "oh, not a problem..." I've been there somewhat often, which is perhaps why they allowed it. Anyhow, all in all I thought it was OK. I definitely wouldn't rate it up there with something like LotR or The Matrix. But I was entertained, unlike watching Cold Creek Manner or the like My view could be somewhat effected by the fact I didn't pay to see it as well, however. Looking at what ray_gillespie posted, if they stook the story to sheep and a farmer on a tractor, this is one case where I think I would definitely have not liked them sticking to the book.

August 5th, 2005	Top \| #5
gonaads Beware the G-Man Joined: March 2002 Location: XP-erience, NTFS, OSNN, Bay Area, California Posts: 18,474 Reputation: 4070 Power: 348	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth Hahaha!!! Now that is what I call a review. Excellent work ray_gillespie. Most thought out and I would say probably more entertaining than the movie. And NO, I have not and will not see this movie. *"I play violent video games, I could snap at any second."*

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August 6th, 2005	Top \| #6
ray_gillespie OSNN Veteran Addict Joined: March 2002 Location: Birmingham, UK Posts: 1,692 Reputation: 1420 Power: 154	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth Hey thanks guys, I'm glad you found it entertaining. Much appreciated.

August 7th, 2005	Top \| #7
~bk I <3 Adriana Joined: November 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 3,768 Reputation: 1230 Power: 154	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth Originally Posted by ray_gillespie Overall, out of 5, I'd give it the middle finger. Haha, that's a classic line. +bk.designs; + notebook + deviantART __________ // art is literacy of the heart <3

August 7th, 2005	Top \| #8
the_music_man aka prodj88 =P Joined: July 2002 Location: USA Posts: 2,401 Reputation: 730 Power: 152	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth i love this review haha The Button To The Left Can Be Used To Reward Members For Good Posts

August 7th, 2005	Top \| #9
Sazar F@H - Is it in you? Joined: April 2002 Location: Between Austin and Tampa Posts: 14,888 Reputation: 4110 Power: 313	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth Foxx filmed this before he did Ray afaik. Help to find cures for Alzheimer's, Mad Cow (BSE), CJD, ALS, Huntington's, Parkinson's disease, and many Cancers. Folding@Home, is it in you?

August 8th, 2005	Top \| #10
Khayman I'm sorry Hal... Joined: January 2002 Location: England Posts: 5,514 Reputation: 1210 Power: 194	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth Saw it yesterday. Ummm it looked good, at least i thought so. I guess i'm easy to entertain "I'm on the server side. I don't know what side you're on"

August 8th, 2005	Top \| #11
falconguard Carbon based lifeform Joined: February 2004 Location: SoCal Posts: 3,406 Reputation: 2305 Power: 158	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth Originally Posted by Khayman I guess i'm easy to entertain Or maybe just really low standards?

August 8th, 2005	Top \| #12
zeke_mo (value not set) Joined: August 2004 Location: Placerville, CA Posts: 1,965 Reputation: 1290 Power: 126	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth rofl "My Mind is a swirling miasma of scintillating thoughts and turgid ideas" ~Sam Zeitgeist Money as Debt, educate yourself.

August 8th, 2005	Top \| #13
Sazar F@H - Is it in you? Joined: April 2002 Location: Between Austin and Tampa Posts: 14,888 Reputation: 4110 Power: 313	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth Originally Posted by Khayman Saw it yesterday. Ummm it looked good, at least i thought so. I guess i'm easy to entertain It's that ring, its corrupted yo pooah l'il mind!!! Help to find cures for Alzheimer's, Mad Cow (BSE), CJD, ALS, Huntington's, Parkinson's disease, and many Cancers. Folding@Home, is it in you?

August 8th, 2005	Top \| #14
Khayman I'm sorry Hal... Joined: January 2002 Location: England Posts: 5,514 Reputation: 1210 Power: 194	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth Nobody claimed it was Shakespeare, but it had a hot woman fast planes loads of explosions and cool effects. Seems to be a average popcorn no brainer to me. And there's always a place for them "I'm on the server side. I don't know what side you're on"

August 24th, 2005	Top \| #15
delta4s BLACK HAWK ALOFT Joined: April 2002 Location: Bangalore, India Posts: 340 Reputation: 220 Power: 129	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth love the review, the movie sucked "Everything that can be invented has been invented." ---Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, in 1899. If you liked my post, click the to the left.

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August 24th, 2005	Top \| #16
ElementalDragon The One and Only Joined: August 2002 Location: Lehighton, PA Posts: 3,160 Blog Entries: 3 Reputation: 1095 Power: 161	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth i'm actually looking forward to seeing this movie sooner or later, whether in theater or rental, and i think your review made me want to see it more, just for spite. first off, i don't see how you can really call what you did a "review" of Stealth when it seemed more like a story about an old cartoon. usually review's give information about the movie being reviewed.... not more information about a cartoon you say it was based on and retweaked to be more realistic. now..... i don't know about everyone else here..... but to ME it appears that you made a review of a movie that you sat down to watch for 5 minutes, walked out, looked for something that resembled it in some way, shape, or form, and are looking to be honored for doing so. I really wish i could get the last 5 minutes of my life back wasted by reading your so-called "review", and typing this post in an effort to try to make you look like more of an idiot than a reviewer. P.S. sorry for the rant..... but to me what i just said seems true if you look back at his "review" again. Core 2 Quad Q9450 \| 4GB DDR2 800 \| Abit IP-35 Pro \| eVGA GTX 295+ I Love Windows 7! Has my post been helpful to you? If so, please click the to the left to add to my reputation.

August 25th, 2005	Top \| #17
ray_gillespie OSNN Veteran Addict Joined: March 2002 Location: Birmingham, UK Posts: 1,692 Reputation: 1420 Power: 154	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth Fair enough I suppose, I just thought it would be funny, sorry you didn't find it so.

August 25th, 2005	Top \| #18
ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3 Joined: March 2004 Location: Scotland Posts: 1,112 Reputation: 1032 Power: 121	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth Its so bad it hurts We had a good laugh at it here <Z> EduGeek.net -The I.T. professionals' life line

August 25th, 2005	Top \| #19
muzikool Act your wage. Joined: December 2001 Location: Texas, USA Reputation: Yes, please. Posts: 7,626 Reputation: 2900 Power: 232	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth Originally Posted by ElementalDragon i'm actually looking forward to seeing this movie sooner or later, whether in theater or rental, and i think your review made me want to see it more, just for spite. first off, i don't see how you can really call what you did a "review" of Stealth when it seemed more like a story about an old cartoon. usually review's give information about the movie being reviewed.... not more information about a cartoon you say it was based on and retweaked to be more realistic. now..... i don't know about everyone else here..... but to ME it appears that you made a review of a movie that you sat down to watch for 5 minutes, walked out, looked for something that resembled it in some way, shape, or form, and are looking to be honored for doing so. I really wish i could get the last 5 minutes of my life back wasted by reading your so-called "review", and typing this post in an effort to try to make you look like more of an idiot than a reviewer. P.S. sorry for the rant..... but to me what i just said seems true if you look back at his "review" again. Did you make this movie yourself, because you seem to be taking it a bit personally. It is completely obvious that this is not a true and accurate review of the actual movie. He shouldn't have to put a disclaimer on a post that is blatantly satirical just to avoid being flamed for it. Besides, everyone else in this thread enjoyed it, and I'm pretty sure he wasn't looking to be "honored."

August 25th, 2005	Top \| #20
Khayman I'm sorry Hal... Joined: January 2002 Location: England Posts: 5,514 Reputation: 1210 Power: 194	Re: [Movie Review] Stealth It had Jessica Biel in a bikini WHAT MORE IS THERE!? "I'm on the server side. I don't know what side you're on"