sorry did i say fault?? heheh should be saying thanks actually, he has put a seed in my brain and given me good advise and links to help me with my recovery as it were.
OK, so thing is, i have decided to try and make art - nothing in his league or anyone else on deviant art but i am trying, and so far i have two wallpapers up there

amongst all the favourites i have put into my gallery.
Plus i have decided to start bloging, prob wont get looked at just like my wordpress blog, but doctor and head shrinker's seem to think it will help so here's hoping